News, views and discussions about the Amersham area. http://www.localmouth.com/go/amersham.rss I just posted a blog on Ecademy.com (http://www.ecademy.com/node.php?id=170638) after being woken up (again) by a noctural flat footed jogger. If anyone knows someone in Little Chalfont who makes a habit of running up and down local roads at around 2 in the morning, please for goodness sake show him this blog! It's in his interest. "Suggestions please. How to kill, I mean to catch a flat footed jogger? Two nights ago, I managed the grand total of three hours sleep thanks to an awful nightmare which I was glad to wake up from and consequently reluctant to go back to sleep. I fell into bed last night with no such reservations on my mind. Sleep wasn't just calling me it was shouting at me! A blissful three hours into the mission, the FFJ started to infringe into my subconsious, filtering into my REM dream mode. Thud, thud, thud Silence Back to REM again. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz Thud, thud, thud He wasn't going anywhere. No, the FFJ takes great delight in running up and down our road in the early hours. What a prize prune. There's a main road bisecting our road which he could run up and down without disturbing people, with the houses set further back. Wait until I get my hands on him. I'll have him for breakfast! So the question is, how do I trap him? For his sake, it's better that I bring to his attention the fact his nocturnal activities are impacting on his neighbours (I presume he lives in the road) before I hurtle out of the house to challenge him. Shall I - put a less than discreetly placed flip chart outside my drive to tell the FFJ to see a Therapist? Shall I - set up a trip wire? I've already discounted that one. I can't guarantee someone else won't collide with it. Shall I lay in wait? No thanks, if I can sleep, I will. Shall I dust off my karate and boxing skills? Erm, probably not very neighbourly? His reputation precedes him. A good friend and neighbour told me about the FFJ a couple of weeks ago. He'd woken her up too and like me, she waited at the window to see what on earth he was up to and caught sight of a gangly male running up and down and up and down the road. I followed suit and waited and watched but tonight, I didn't see him. I got bored with waiting after a few minutes, shut my windows and went downstairs for a cuppa so I've no idea how long his loop his. Long enough to be startled out of REM then back to REM, then startled out of REM again. The most politicially correct approach I feel, is to let the idiot know he needs to consult a podiatrist/sports massage practitioner/osteopath/chiropractor. The way he's running isn't just antisocial, he's likely to have/develop problems in his knees and ultimately in his hips. Infact hell, wouldn't it be great if he got to see this blog then I don't have to lie in wait or leap out the house after him. Do your work Twitter, Linkedin, Facebook, British Naturism, LocalMouth.....etc etc etc I can run around the web much faster than you can run up and down this road So here (would that I could say Goodnight ) Mr FFJ, are some useful links. Practitioners/Schools/Organisations Marius Antoniades, of Blue Chip Massage Bridging Programme and CPD School; http://www.bluechipmassage.co.uk/about-our-school/bluechip-cpd-school-tutors The London School of Sports Massage; http://www.lssm.com/ (phone the office and ask for a recommendation for specific queries). The Oxford School of Sports Massage; http://www.ossm.co.uk/ The British School of Osteopathy; http://www.bso.ac.uk/ The College of Ostoepaths; http://www.collegeofosteopaths.ac.uk/ The British Chiropractic Association; http://www.chiropractic-uk.co.uk/ Useful weblink Sleep Dreams and REM, Serendip; http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1702 Sat, 26 Nov 2011 03:34:06 +0000 http://www.localmouth.com/go/little-chalfont/show_topic?topic_id=7533 http://www.localmouth.com/go/little-chalfont/show_topic?topic_id=7533